Forever in Blue Jeans: A Tribute to Jewish Elvis

A decade ago, I was working for Columbia Records in Detroit. At one of my retail accounts (the inimitable, great WhereHouse Records), there was a fellow musicnerd named Ben. He did a lot of great displays and in-store promotions for me. I owed him a couple of favors, to say the least.

His girlfriend was one of the worlds biggest Neil Diamond fans.

She was decidedly a "square" to me, because I was too stupidly arrogant, young and green back then regarding songwriting greats to recognize the talent and finer points of Neil Diamond, the man they call the Jewish Elvis. Plus, my dad loved him, and I hated what my dad loved (oh! teenage rebellion!)

It would not be until about a year ago that I figured out his genius.

In any event, Ben begged me to get tickets for Neil Diamond as a birthday gift supremo to his girlfriend. A surprise, he was planning and hoped I would help him out. I asked a few favors from the higher ups in NY (whose blank do I have to blank to get Dolly Parton tickets, by the way!?) and voila! Ben had 2 rows to see Neil Diamond in the second row! His girlfriend would be so elated!

The day following the show, I happened to stop into the record store. I remember this day because we were standing around discussing the um, May-December romance-marriage bewteen R. Kelly and Aaliyah, and somehow segued into the prior evenings Diamond show.

I asked him how the big birthday gift went over.

There was a long pause.

(I believe they call this a pregnant pause, but that term sorta grosses me out)

Ben responded "Umm, yeah, great...Thanks" which I thought was kinda rude.

He continued on, "I didn't know you were getting us backstage passes. Thanks for those, too," rather sarcastically.
And so the story was told to me.

Our radio guy brought back Ben and his girlfriend for what we call a meet-and-greet in my biz, if you will. An assembly line of people from radio, press, retail, etc. come back and meet the artist following their set. It can be impersonal, but its a chance for many great supporters and lucky fans to get a chance at rare autographs and a star encounter!

On this particular night, my friend Ben introduced his girlfriend, adding, "Its her birthday and she's been your #1 fan for years. She is SO excited to be here."

Neil, apparently met her eyes when he shook her hand, firmly, pulled her to him, and stuck his tongue in her mouth for a longkiss, after saying, "Well, Happy Birthday to You", eyes firmly fixed on hers. Whilst her boyfriend and hangers-on watched, some in horror.

hehehehe- SUPRISE!

This story was repeated to me by a second witness, and I was in shock, but thought it was sort of awesome, too. So, in honor of his majesty, here are some other facts (a la this month's great Blender piece) that might surprise or interest you about Mr. Diamond.

1. He was shot in the face once in Flatbush, Brooklyn "scrapping" with a pellet gun and it scared him so he never fought again (so gangsta! so...street! take that, lil' wayne!)

2. He sold vitamins door-to-door to make ends meet before he became famous

3. He wanted to change his name to Eice Cherry (I have no idea how one would even pronounce it) or Noah Kiminski (ummm), but his grandmother was in the hospital just before he struck songwriting gold, so he kept his actual name on his album, lest he disgrace her with a stage name. (thus proving the everything happens for a reason. a theory to live by.)

4. He went to high school with Barbera Streisand (in Brooklyn) but they weren't friends

5. He almost took on the role of Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, but decided not to. (however, the film The Jazz Singer starring Neil Diamond is fucking great.

Especially the montage playing "Love on the Rocks" where he questions his whole life calling, goes on a soul searching journey, wears cocaine sunglasses, and doesn't shave. This is right before he reunites with his love on the beach, and "Hello Again" plays. I will stop now!)

6. All those old, spangled, tight outfits from the 70s have been preserved in a climate-controlled vaults (along with his guitars). Helloooo...Hot August Night.