The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good

I watched "El Cantante" the other night and actually sort of enjoyed it. Ok.. I liked it!

What the fuck, right?

Anyways, I have an Achilles heel for that kind of stuff. There are men who like, say, dressing up in their girlfriends lingerie. There are women who like, I dunno, eating an entire cake in one sitting.  

My vices include absurd-implausable romantic comedies and Mark Anthony (amongst others). Could be worse (right?). Anyways...

...As Max Fischer said, "Aah, Latin America and such. WELL, moving on..."...here's some

stuff I actually have confidence in. 

Riunite on Ice, yeah, my taste is niiiiiice.

DAVID SEDARIS: WHEN YOU ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES

I have like, Christmas eve suspense in my Heart before a Sedaris book comes out, because he is the best writer alive right now. Period. I will be college-lined paper, book reporting on this really shortly. But in the meantime, enjoy this little vignette, if you will, about overhearing a tourist couple argue about directions and the language barrier in Paris:

" 'You want to be French, Mary Frances, that's the problem, but instead you're just another American.' I went to the window for that one and saw a marriage disintegrate before my very eyes. Poor Mary Frances in her beige beret. Back at the hotel it had probably seemed like a good idea, but now it was ruined and ridiculous, a cheap felt pancake sliding off the back of her head. She'd done the little scarf thing, too, not caring that it was summer. It could have been worse, I thought. She could have been wearing one of those striped boater's shirts, but, as it was, it was pretty bad, a costume. really.

LIL' WAYNE: THE CARTER III 

(let us note the great album cover art, as well right now)

File Under: Scary-Smart. Skills: Extraterrestrial.  

Rap-poet-savant-phenom ....baptized by Jay-Z with the torch...and this album is tops. I hope it sees forever.

Man, I got Summer hating on me cause I'm hotter than the sun / Got Spring hating on me cause I ain't never sprung / Winter hating on me cause I'm colder than y'all / And I would never, I would never, I would never Fall...