So when people give me "counting sheep" remedies, I think its cute and sweet but it doesn't really pay the sandman, you know? He just breaks my dreamy kneecaps and goes merrily on his way.
Anyways, A friend of mine asked me to write a song for him (a "new" for me)so I'm trying that on for pajamas. I don't know how what it is to "rhyme" but I'll try to find my inner lyrical gangsta.
Despite all this drowsy, thousand pound eyelid bullshit, I found something so funny. Radar magazine just published "100 reasons you can't sleep". Here's my favorites:
17. You smoke in bed. Specifically, hickory bacon
22. You're the world's biggest fan of whatever piece of shit is on at 3 a.m
77. Your man didn't love you right
27. Filled humidifier with Red Bull
30. Constantly interrupted by Christmas ghosts
42. Trying to catch 24-hour laundromat in a lie
55. Dreamland is actually a total shithole
64. Seems like a waste of a hooker, no?
83. Keep hearing heartbeat of guy buried alive in the wall
98. Contract with the devil expired 45 minutes ago
94. Suddenly realized you chose the past most traveled.
ha.
Champagne Wishes.
Caviar Dreams.
2 comments:
Falling Asleep is easy for me, but I'm learning more and more people are like you and can't sleep! I'd go crazy!
Drink sleepy tea (Dr. Stuarts), listen to lullabies, empty your head before bed!!! Melatonin helps too...or at least it should.
98. Constantly re-reading TMOOU because its pleasant layout, informative content, and insightful yet witty comments about life in New York is worth the sleep deprivation.
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